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12 August 2016

kthxbye. wtf.

Tonight was the last night that I'll be on scheduled software development hours at my current job-- when I first took on being a software developer here, this wasn't what I imagined my last day would be like. Not. At. All.

I've been working on one project for several months now, all of 2016 plus some. It has been a challenge, one that I've had to use a lot of CS fundamentals on plus a few new things I've learned. I have actually, honestly, enjoyed working on it even with all of the trouble that's come up related to ADA accommodations. That I was able to keep working on the same project while overcoming my disability has been a positive feedback loop.

It's pretty clear to me now that my (soon to be ex-) employer either doesn't understand the importance of the ADA accommodations, doesn't believe they are valid, or just figures I'll eventually leave and and the problem will go away. Maybe it's a combination of all of the above or maybe there are other factors that because I'm not a management person I just cannot see. It is important to note that while someone from human resources contacted me to see how the accommodations were working, no one from the shop I work in has ever even asked. If I hadn't been making a fuss over the past month, nothing would have been said.

My experience in dealing with PTSD in general is that when I ask for something that's an accommodation is that it is usually ignorance (and not malice) that gets in the way. If it's not ignorance, it's that people are inconsiderate and/or just don't care. They don't see the problem so there isn't one. It is rare that someone has an active bias, but it happens. Again, I don't know what the case is here. The way things are structured here I don't ever see my supervisors much less sit down and have meaningful conversations with them.

Still.

When I gave two weeks notice, the reply I received didn't mention anything at all about my project. Since then no one at work has mentioned it (actually no one has asked me anything substantial about what I've been doing all summer).

You can tell me my code sucks because _____. Pick on me because I use vim when everyone else here uses an IDE. Call me Grampaw. Cancel my project and put me on something really stupid instead. Laugh because I like Nickleback. Be cautious around me because you've heard I'm a vetran and have pee tee ess dee like that one guy. I have, at various times and places, encountered all of those things and I generally know how to handle them without (too) much fuss or bother.

I have been underemployed and unappreciated doing different jobs in my life, but I've never been so completely and effectively ignored at the end of a job. Which tells me that it really is the right time to leave.

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