26 August 2014


I'm on vacation, sort of. I'm checked into a chain hotel for a couple of days for R&R. Maybe it means something that I knew I needed to give myself a break. Sleep in a real bed, sit in a comfortable chair, slplash around in the pool a little bit.  Time to myself that Indont have to spend trying not to get arrested for trespassing. 

I'm not far from home, I'm in the same city. This is the west side, a little bit away from downtown and campus. Madisom is a suburb of itself sometimes. There is a mall here, complete with all of the other fluff that surrounds a major mall. Suburbia isn't my thing,  but it's a nice break.

It's an expensive one-- I won't fault you if you are wondering how a homeless guy is able to afford it. Truth is, I really can't, but sanity right now is more important than money. These couple of days are a compromise-- sleeping on soft pillows, and dinner off the value meal at a fast good place around the corner.

Homelessness requires a certain frame of mind. You have to focus on surviving another day. Even harder is keeping the thought alive that there is an end to this, that someday things will be stable again. 

I had an appointment with my psychiatrist at the VA yesterday. No changes to any of my medications, which is what I expected. She's willing to make changes in doses and even new Meds, but not without reason. 

I don't know if I'd call myself mentally healthy, but I do use most if the tools I've learned and practiced in therapy. Those tools and the medications are what get me through some/most days.

I'm tired. There are a bunch of things I wish I could get accomplished, but I'm tired. Even too tired to write more.


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