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12 May 2014

Was my snoring that loud?

On my list of "preferred ways to wake up", waking up to find a law enforcement officer looking down at me is not included. That should pretty much sum up how my week has started.

I've been in sort of a fog the past few days, because I don't have anything that resembles a sleep schedule (much less a circadian rhythm). I stay up as long as possible, because being awake means I have a place to be. Most (random, around campus) places, sleeping is either frowned upon or not allowed at all. So I try to find those places and times when I can lean against a wall or the back of a chair and sleep for a little while. The worst of it is when my body is several hours past having enough of this shit, and I doze off for a few minutes or more without realizing it. This is not how my body was designed to operate, and it's letting me know there's something wrong.

Last night I sat down in a classroom and was asleep before I had a chance to adjust my chair after sitting down. After a certain point, my body says "fuck you" to its owner and initiates the sequence that ends up with me being alseep.

This morning I opened my eyes and saw a police officer. There was another one behind me and to my right

whatthefuckholyshitfuckfuckfuckwhatthehellisgoingonherewherethefuckamIwheresthefuckingdoorshitshitshit

Me: "Um, hi."

It's about 0525 at this point, so I'm guessing someone was opening up the building and noticed me, random dude, sitting at a desk in a classroom snoring. Not knowing why I was there they did the safe thing and called the police. I'd have done the exact same thing.

Explained that I'm a student. Explained that I'm homeless. Showed ID. One of the officers asked about the knife sheath on my belt, so I explained I carry a Leatherman there and a pocket knife in a another pocket while the other officer called me in by radio.

All of which was cool.

Once I was called in, the officer gave me my ID back and indicated it was time to leave, so I gathered up my stuff and headed to the door. In the hallway, I sort of wanted to take the first right to get outside, but followed the officer down the rest of the hallway. It took me a second, but I realized he was still wating for a response back from dispatch (who was running me through the computers).

The best thing you can ever hear in that situation is "No wants." That is in fact what the response was. I'm not wanted for anything.

They made sure I physically left the building, wished me good luck, I thanked them for being so polite about the whole situation, and that was that.

I'm not here to cause trouble. You want me to leave, I'll leave.
You don't want me sleeping here, I won't sleep here.

I don't know where I'm going to sleep tonight, but I'll figure it out.

I'm not angry at the world. I just want my life back.

-----

There are some things I can to today that might help.

I'm going to talk to someone from the management company for the room/apartment I'm trying to sublet for the summer. I expect that they will say no, obviously because of my eviction from Porchlight. I'm going to explain the situation with that and with my disability, explain that I have more income now, and explain that I have a cosigner as backup.

Maybe they will say yes, just for the summer. That's what I'm hoping for. That gives me a place to live, which is most important. Actually getting a place for the summer also means that I'll have lived somewhere and not been evicted. even if it was only for a few months. It's a start.

I also have some other resources for homeless people to check out, one on campus and one off. I'm trying to stay hopeful, and keep moving.

Even if I do have to stop to sleep now and then.

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