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26 September 2013

Tuesday, blank, Thursday

Yesterday after breakfast, I went home and crashed. Sometime around 1900 last night I finally woke up; on Tuesday I'd had a mandatory training meeting at work, and a meeting with Case Manager (CM). I'd also spent several hours dismantling and reassembling my computer to replace a part that was dying.

Sometimes, my body just decides it's time to sleep and that's that- but it gets in the way of things like schedules. Tuesday was a pretty full day though. The trick, which I'm still figuring out, is how to balance what I want to get done with that level after which I'm asleep for twelve hours.

I'm doing better with school, little by little. I can sit and watch video taped lectures, and take decently passable notes. There are assignments, and I've even had some success getting those done.

One part of the plan this semester is learning the routine of focusing on classes- I've always had too many other things going on in my life. All of those things are, for better or worse, no longer there to get in the way. Changes like this are hard because they create new environments where I don't have so much experience.

Later today I have a meeting with a Vet Centet counselor, who is also a Desert Storm vet. Working with the Vet Center I'm hoping I can get more accomplished than I have through vets house.

CM wants to meet with me again after the Vet Center appointment. I'm trying not to be negative in advance, but I doubt I'll feel like dealing with CM. Talking stuff out about the Desert takes a lot  of energy. Talking to CM depends a lot on how much energy I have left.

She (CM) made it a point to say we'd get lunch at vets house after I'm done with the Vet Center. I haven't eaten a meal in the chow hall for months- at meal times it's insanely loud and confining. I get triggered just walking past the door. I said so at that last meeting, but CM insisted: "You can get your lunch from the chow hall and we can eat in my office." 

Not just no, but fuck no.

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This week, we had hired maids in vets house cleaning the showers. That, and the weekly room inspection my ass is beig ridden with suggests to me that the house is being inspected again soon.

Whatever. Sit down and talk with some of when you come to inspect, I promise you'll learn what's really going on.

Just don't ask to sit in the chow hall.





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