I didn’t make it back to school for spring semester. The past few months have been kind of a blur, which is why I’ve been trying to post often. I use my old posts to look back and check on what I was thinking at various times. Since I moved into transitional housing, I’ve had a few rough days and nights. The contrast between being at the vets house and being on campus is like day and night. In the house, I’m sitting across the table from a veteran who got busted for selling crack and is out on parole. Two blocks away in the library, I’m sitting across the table from a hacker who’s going to start her own tech company this year. I’m far more comfortable with people on campus. but at some point I have to come back to the house to eat and sleep.
I’ve noticed that I’ve almost completely switched to calling ‘here’ the vets house, rather than home. I don’t feel like I’m at home living here. It’s a place to be, for now. That’s all.
Assuming I can get all of my enrollment holds cleared, I’ll be back in classes in fall. My application is submitted, and now I need to talk to a dean and my advisor about what I’m planning to do to graduate. Financial aid wants to have a few words with me as well, as I skipped out on an exit interview and I still owe a little bit from my last actual semester. These things are manageable, I suppose, but I wish I didn’t have to deal with them. On the other hand, dealing with them gets me outside and moving around campus. Maybe red tape isn’t all bad. illing in the application with everything I’ve been doing over the past year was a little challenging at times. Seems things are better if I don’t look back too often.
My doc upped my venlafaxine dose from 75mg to 100mg twice a day. I’m still taking bupropion and trazodone. Now I also have a small supply of Zolpidem (aka Ambien) for those nights when I just can’t get to sleep. I’ve tried the Zolpidem a couple of nights; it works as advertised. Within a few minutes I was out. I’m hesitant to take it though; the side effects list is, um, interesting:
“...you should know that some people who took zolpidem got out of bed and drove their cars, prepared and ate food, had sex, made phone calls, were sleep-walking, or were involved in other activities while not fully awake. After they woke up, these people were usually unable to remember what they had done. Call your doctor right away if you find out that you have been driving or doing anything else unusual while you were sleeping.”