27 July 2012

Not quite bugged out... soon...

Okay, I'm not quite homeless. Not yet. I have a mediation hearing next week, which I can't attend-- I'll be in my WRAP group at the same time as the hearing. I have that to figure out, as I really don't want to miss WRAP group. Hoping I can convince someone in the court system to understand. Even better, hoping I can get moved out of my apartment by then and secure my stuff. My landlord posted a notice on my door yesterday saying that my parking contract was now null and void, and beginning today if my car was on the property it would be towed. I think it's BS, but I moved my car to a campus lot that's free at night and on weekends anyway. I'll probably have to pay $12 to park during the day today, but after 1630 I'm golden until Monday morning. Note to self: I need to move my mountain bike, too. I don't trust my landlord at this point, but there's not much they can (legally) do until after Tuesday. My goal is to be out by dawn Monday morning. Even if I am homeless as a result.

Moving has been a bad time for me. Last time I moved, earlier this year, I was also doing so due to money problems. The move before that, my then-girlfriend broke up with me when I moved closer to campus. There are other times as well, which I won't go into here. I'm all right if I can just get it done and move, but having a landlord stop by every day to tell me I need to leave is just... triggering. Add that to the normal noises that come from street construction, and I'm miserable when I'm home.

I finish my behavioral activation group next week; it's been a good group. Setting attainable goals for each week has helped get me somewhat organized, sometimes. In some ways it has helped me gain some strength, as practice always does. I have the option to go through the eight weeks again, and I may just do that depending on class schedule (which is still being resolved).

I'll likely be up all night again tonight, getting the rest of my stuff packed. I'm always optimistic this time of night, and less optimistic at around 0400, but it's necessary. I need to be somewhere else. I can feel my heart race as soon as I even see the building I live in.

Add all of that to a messed up sleeping schedule, and not eating much (partly due to finances, and partly due to I haven't had a huge appetite the past couple of weeks), and I don't feel physically well. My medications schedule got knocked out of whack a bit, so that's part of it, but I'm getting tired of dealing with all of this negative stuff. Sometimes I have to just sit down and not deal with it for a while.

Of course, that's usually when the landlord shows up and starts asking me why I haven't moved out yet.


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