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13 September 2011

What hyperaware looks like, at 0200

Right now, my windows are open. My apartment is physically pretty secure. I'm on the first floor, but the first floor is actually about six feet above the sidewalk on one side, and about twelve feet above the ground on the other. The other two walls are interior walls, neither of which completely faces a hallway. A person could climb up to either of my windows if they were determined enough, I suppose, and while it's possible, I try to choose to believe it's doubtful.

Usually.

There are two people outside that have been talking for a few minutes. They're both male. I can't hear what they are saying, but I can hear them talking. If I look outside to check them out, they'll see me looking out. If I turn off the lights, I'll be able to easier see them, but they'll notice that the lights just went off.

I heard a female voice a few seconds ago, and now just hear the occasional car going by, or occasionally a helicopter from the nearby medical center sometimes flies over late at night.

In my neighborhood, people walking around at night isn't that unusual. Girlfriends going home, boyfriends going home, whoever headed home after bars or a study group or a long night in a lab. There's a 24 hour convenience store not far away, so people sometimes are headed there or back.

Now is when I need to study. Or sleep. Right now, study more than sleep, because sleep doesn't get me caught up and get all of my assignments and reading done.

I just realized I'm two hours late taking my meds-- I try to stick to a noon and midnight schedule every day. Being a couple of hours late, after falling asleep early and skipping a dose the night before, that shit adds up. It's a delicate, delicate balance.

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