Yesterday and last night, a large and powerful winter storm passed through here, soon to be followed by wind and some serious cold air. I stayed up most of the night, struggling to focus on reading I needed to do for one my my classes. I eventually got it done, with a lot of checking weather sites looking at the storm, and with a lot of remembering the Desert. But it was slow going.
In the Midwest, when a major blizzard is forecast to come through there are certain things you do out of habit before it arrives. Check the gas tank, make sure you have food and drink (I walked to the store in the rain yesterday to get more coffee), make sure the laptop and phone are charged in case power goes out. And, you watch the weather to see how much more snow you're going to get and how cold it's going to be after it stops snowing.
One of the habits I've picked up over my life, and especially from my time in the Desert, is always needing to know what's going on around me. A blizzard blowing through is a very good time to know what's going on, but not when it costs a night of not sleeping followed by a morning wasted sleeping-- all of this the weekend before final exams. Similarly, the month before the war you've been helping set up is going to start, you become an information junkie. Anything that will help you stay alive, you want to learn.
More than once, in the early hours of this morning, I caught myself looking at a low pressure system moving in from Iowa in the same way I looked northward at Iraq's dug in army and threat of chemical weapons.
It is difficult to be in the here and now, when so much happened in the there and then.
December 2010 marks the second anniversary of me blogging about PTSD and college, therapy and medication, social interactions, and life as a student veteran. It'll be a while before I graduate, and the struggle to cope continues, so I'm sure I'll have more to say. Thanks for reading.