29 August 2010

Ramblings, since classes haven't started yet

Just kinda sorting some things out today...

Textbook buying is done; one on backorder.  (Meh.)   Two textbooks still on hand from last semester (one of the only financial benefits of having to repeat a class.)

Supplies, including Livescribe Pulse smartpen supplies, are secured-- not only do I have the pen on loan for the semester, the disability resource center provided notebooks and extra ink cartridges.  I have enough other pens, paper, and notebooks on hand that I don't need to buy any for a while.  (Like anything else, buy stuff when it's on sale.  Back to school sales are your friend.)

Haven't been out and about much, or connected much with people from last semester... which bothers me a little.  I've been busy moving, getting the new place set up, and the old place cleaned out.  Between that, work, and people doing their own thing over the last weeks of summer, it's been a little isolating.  I see the groups of people at night, walking from one party or bar to the next, and feel a bit left out.  (Not that I drink that much anyway, but it's fun going out with and being in a group of people.)

I'm noticing that I remind myself a lot that it's all about academics now.  There are some non-academic things I'm looking forward to, mainly student organization related.   There's football and hockey seasons.  I have some off-campus activities on my calendar, but not that many.  Everything right now is about classes, and any schedule addition has to pass the "how does this affect school?" filter.

It's been twenty years since Desert Shield; if you'd told me in late August 1990 that twenty years later I'd be where I am now, I'd have told you it wasn't possible for a thousand reasons.  Something else I've been reminding myself of a lot lately is that those thousand reasons are all accounted for, dealt with, and sent packing.

Healed?  Some days yes, some days no, some days in between.  I don't think PTSD ever completely goes away, you get better at dealing with the trauma, the stuff that happened, but you never forget completely.  I still have to deal with the lecture halls, the crowds, the schedule, the assignments, and the distractions that I had to deal with last semester.  A new approach, being closer to classes, new technology.... all good things, but the first week of classes will still be interesting.

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