23 May 2010

Summer break, finally.

Spring semester's finally over (actually, it was over a week ago).  It was a train wreck.  I failed two classes and barely passed one, while passing the other two fairly easily.

There is a lot to say about what went wrong this semester, what went right, what worked and what failed miserably.  Many of my assumptions about being a student at a top-tier university ultimately proved to be wrong.  I'm working on a longer post, or perhaps series of posts, that deals with all of those things.  It will take some time for me to think, process, and write about them

In the meantime, I'm working close to full time over the summer, and have a couple of other projects to work on that I've had to put off until now.  So, I'm going to take a break from posting for a little while to work on writing about the semester and those other projects.


  1. I'm sorry you failed two classes. I still think you did a great job though. I imagine it was tough, but you tried your best. Isn't that all anyone can do? If I were your classmate, I would be more than happy to help you study and take notes. Don't let it ruin your summer. You will do so much better this fall. I have faith in you! Just don't give up! :)


  2. Thanks for your support. I do appreciate it. :)

    I feel like I did the best I could given the circumstances this semester. I had never been a student at a research university, so there were a lot of adjustments to make for that reason. The PTSD kicked in at nearly every turn when I found myself faced with something new, which was all the time. So it was hard to make those adjustments.

    However, being at a research university has its benefits, including a really great library. I have access to a ton of research literature-- journals, books, dissertations, etc. that I've been sifting through, learning more about PTSD. I've also been reading about learning, and finding out that some of the methods I've been using to learn and retain information are not the best methods. Add in the effects of PTSD, and things just get worse. (More on that in regular posts later this summer.)

    Things will be better in fall. I'll be living near campus, things won't be all new, and I'll have a better idea of what I need to do.

    Still won't be easy though. :)

  3. Nothing is ever easy, especially the things we really want. I think you've already overcome so many hard things, school will be a cakewalk once you get it figured out.

    You are also older than the average College student so you already have the maturity and dedication it requires. I'm 27 so even I am older than most students. I've always preferred classes with older students anyway. I don't have to deal with the high school crap they haven't outgrown yet. I mean really, who needs someone in class who still acts like he is 16? We are paying to learn!

    I have been enjoying your blog though. When I learned my boyfriend deals with PTSD, I immediately wanted to educate myself as much as I possibly could. While he still hasn't really talked to me about his experiences, I just feel like it would benefit us both if I learned about it.

    His friend also struggles with PTSD and has decided that maybe he doesn't want to go to college afterall. I think it's a shame because he's actually a pretty smart guy. You are a perfect example that it is possible to live with PTSD and still do school, even though it has many challenges.

    I wish you the best for the fall semester and I thank you for serving our country! :)

    Take care,

  4. My husband has begun blogging about his PTSD, and has been looking for blogs similar to his because he has "complex" PTSD due to childhood physical and sexual abuse (non-combat PTSD) layered on top of his Iraq war experiences (combat PTSD). He said "no one else out there is blogging about this stuff." I told him "oh but there is... it's called Stuck in The Sand."

    My husband's blog is

    he was sexually abused by his mother, beaten by his father, starved and lived in incredible filth as a child.

    I would be sooo grateful, if you have the time, if you could stop by his blog and drop him a confidential email (there's a button on his home page for that) and let him know he is not alone.

    I've been hoping to find someone that truly understands because there's not too many people out there dealing with the type of shit both of you are. I have been following your blog for a while and now that my husband has started blogging it's the perfect segway for an introduction.

    Many thanks in anticipation...
    Domenica Campbell

  5. Lacey- it speaks well of you that you're willing to learn about PTSD for someone else. School here will probably never be a cakewalk-- it's tough even for people without PTSD-- but I do think fall will be better.

    Domenica- done.


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