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06 December 2009

Space... time... quiet... shhh...

Sometimes I just need quiet. Sometimes I need just quiet. And sometimes I need both.

I have to be in a quiet room, no radio, no TV, no people, or maybe outside, around the corner of the building. Letting the world around me move, while I stand still. Drinking my coffee, eating my soup, drinking a beer...just... quiet time.

The war rages around me while I stand motionless, and I ignore the air raid sirens and the people running past. The breeze blows sand past me, but I do not acknowledge the sand, the heat, or the breeze. I stand still, while the world moves past me in a blur. Caught in time, just a moment, then it all syncs up and I start running...

On the roof, looking through binoculars across the desert, watching the lights flash on distant antennas. People in the house below, next door, across the courtyard, down the street. What am I looking for? I don't know. I don't know. I just know I cannot find it...

Quiet apartment, only light in the room is my desk lamp and computer monitor. Only sound, the fan and my fingers tapping on keys.

I need my quiet time/space. Sometimes things just get to moving too fast. Too loud. Too many. Just too much.

1 comment:

  1. OMG.....reading this post it almost seems as though my husband authored it. I Blog constantly about the challenges that he faces as a combat vet with PTSD and TBI here's the link to a post about Flashbacks....

    http://combatvetspouse.blogspot.com/2010/02/dragging-him-back-against-his-will.html

    ReplyDelete

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