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16 September 2009

Half of Us, and asking for help

I should be doing math. I'm not. I am, however, trying to figure out why not.

http://www.halfofus.com/ states that half of us, us being college students/young people, have some sort of issue that is stressing us out. I'm not just talking, hey, I'm having a bad day-- I'm talking, hey, I can't even get my socks on and get out the damn door today.

There's even a video clip that includes veterans with PTSD. So I can relate. Except I'm not college aged. Technically.

I think, that as the semester has heated up-- I've started a new job, my regular seasonal job has started up, and academics have really kicked in-- there is a point where all of a sudden I found myself dealing with a lot of stress. Frequent readers will note that I always deal with a lot of stress, but full time student life is different.
  • Being either in school or at work, or having studying to do, means that I cannot do a lot of things that I was able to do over the summer (mostly recreational activities).
  • I have less time to do basic maintenance-- house cleaning, laundry, etc.
  • I'm literally busy all day. Most of my coursework is difficult, or at least is isn't what most people would consider easy.
  • I have long days, that start at 0800 and don't stop until 2200 or later. When I get home, I'm tired and I basically shut down.
  • School is crowded. There is no such thing as quiet personal space. I suspect this has something to do, over and above the stress of being a student, with being a PTSD trigger. There are some days I just need quiet and space, and I can't seem to find it anywhere.
It might be that school is just stressful (it is), but I'm also dealing with PTSD (which makes it worse). I'm looking for information on actually living with it-- it is easy to find information that tells you when you have an issue, that tell you what the issue is about, and where to get help. I haven't seen any real manuals or how-to's that talk about how to keep going on once you've been through therapy.

Half of Us, though, at least is an indicator that it's not just me, and it's not just veterans. Which, somehow, makes me feel a little bit better. I need to talk to some people and let them know I'm having some problems, which is not easy-- but knowing someone else has been going through this stuff at least suggests that I can get through, too.

Something has to change. The flashbacks, the anxiety, the not sleeping right, all those things are coming back, and that means something is wrong and needs to be addressed.

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