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22 December 2008

Hey Rambo, where do I fit in?

Okay-- so the diagnosis is, for what it's worth, official.

The short story is, my first experience with PTSD was a result of issues when I was a child. Having had those experiences, plus the combination of making a bad relationship choice as a young adult, and the time in the desert running to the bunker everytime I heard the PA system click on, all added up to PTSD.

There are so many GI's who have seen and dealt with, what I feel, to be much worse-- I wasn't at Tora Bora, or Fallujah, or even Kuwait. I was in Riyadh, FFS. We had a Baskin Robbins, laundry services, and a pool. We even had Bob Hope. What I'm saying is, I'm not ever going to claim that my experiences, military or otherwise, are any more knee-deep-in-the-sand than yours. But knowing you're not alone isn't the same as feeling any better about it. I'm still looking for the answer to the question-- where do I, with my own personal problems, fit in to this whole new world order/global war on terror/etc.?


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